Support TRUE Talent

In a past post I exposed my nephew and godson as a talented writer. He wrote a guest post on this blog about the family get together. As a family we encouraged him to seek further exposure as a writer, and he did! Cameron is 14 and has now published his own book... Darkness. Even in this day and age, that is no mean feat and we are very proud of him. In fact the local paper is going to run a feature on him shortly.

One more than happy outcome for me is that it has led to a change in his perception about the value of family and has made him realise at this tender age that with love, support and encouragement, you can do whatever you want to in this life. Invaluable at his age and I cannot begin to explain how very proud we are of his talent, tenacity, ambition and most importantly trust in us that he IS in fact talented enough to make it as a writer.

So why am I telling you this?

In order for him to have the book more widely published he needs to sell THIRTY ONE more copies.

This is where you come in. Please take the time to go and order it so that together we can make one young mans dream come true.

It will only cost £4.99 (electronically) and £6.99 (paperback) to make a BIG difference to a young lads life, this is a good example of PEOPLE power. Of course, when he becomes a famous author, you can say that you contributed to his success. I will of course make sure that he thanks every one of you personally.

I promised Cameron I would help him and this is my contribution to doing so, please help me to move up in the ranks in the favourite auntie division and download this book today.

Type Cameron Spence Darkness into google and find the book....

THIRTY ONE is not a big number, make a difference today.

Gone too soon...

It doesn't matter how old you are, where you live, what you do for a living or who you know, death does not discriminate.

The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
- Mark Twain, last written statement; Moments with Mark Twain, Paine

At one time or another we are all affected by the death of someone we have known or been close to. Obviously it is sad to lose anyone that you love, but it is a whole different ball game when that person leaves this earth sooner than we think they should have. It reminds me of the song 'Gone Too Soon' and I find it ironic that the artist who brought this song to the masses also suffered this fate.

In fact when PEOPLE die prematurely, we don't even have to have known them that well for their passing to touch us and make us feel sadness and grief to some extent. We feel sad for the PEOPLE who knew and loved them, we offer comfort and support, but know that nothing we say is going to make them feel better, not really.

Of course if we have experienced premature death of someone close, we have a good idea of how they could be feeling; shock, disbelief, anger, pain, heartache, guilt, regret and sorrow. Old wounds are opened, we are reminded of the PEOPLE that we loved who left too soon, suddenly or otherwise. Our hearts ache at the memory of them, we miss them, some PEOPLE feel guilty because life has moved on without them, we might shed a tear, we might smile, we are reminded of the injustice of it all and say things like; Only the good die young, God takes the best first and Life is too short.

Whether its a disease, an accident, a war, a freak of nature, a genetic hitch, suicide or murder, whenever someone dies it stirs up a whole lot of emotion.

I know this is not always the case, but it seems to me that almost always, the PEOPLE that die young are PEOPLE that have made a great impression on others during their time here, their existence was considered a gift to all who knew them. It's not necessarily about what they acheived but in the way they gave themselves wholeheartedly to others. The PEOPLE I have known (some better than others) that have gone too soon have been loved by everyone who came into contact with them, they had huge personalities, were vibrant, popular, optimistic and loved life and everyone who shared their space, particularly friends and family.

So much so that we often feel their presence long after they are gone, a song, a place or a word can trigger a memory that warms the heart. We imagine them looking down on us and wonder what they would say about situations that we find ourselves in. Photographs serve as a constant reminder that they were here and the memories we made. They have been the kind of PEOPLE that would want those they leave behind to remember them with a smile and celebrate their life at every opportunity, and of course we usually oblige.

Their untimely passing reminds us to cherish those who are dear to us, tell PEOPLE how much we love them, live life to the full and to never take anyone for granted.

I started writing this post in March and it was to be dedicated to someone who was close to me and whose departure I still struggle to come to terms with, but in the last week two young PEOPLE that are friends of PEOPLE that I care about have Gone too soon... that made me want to post this now.

In loving memory of the legendary Sean Green 10th May 1966 - 22nd September 2007.
To live in the hearts of those who loved you is never to die.
Rest In Peace

The way the world turns Part 1

I have some special memories of growing up, mostly I remember the PEOPLE that joined me on that journey and I always smile fondly when I remember the crazy times we had. Although the years steal from us the specifics like times, dates and sometimes places, the memories of good and happy times remain.

When I was a teenager, I had a great group of friends, girls and boys. We did stupid things, stayed out later than we should, did things that our parents had no clue about, went to parties that we shouldn't have gone to, roamed the streets into the small hours, and laughed alot! We were open to almost any new experience. When I look back we had conversations that would shape us and although we had no chance of ever remembering the details of them we were growing up in front of each other and they were fun times. We got to know each other in a way that only PEOPLE who grow up together do. We made special bonds that we knew would last a lifetime and shared moments that will remain in my memory forever. This is a small town which means I sometimes come across the PEOPLE that I grew up alongside. I love bumping into them, reminiscing and laughing at our shared memories.

One of the PEOPLE that shared my formative years was Lee. He was bigger than average and so was his laugh, he seemed to understand 'the girls' and didn't care what PEOPLE said about the fact that he spent most of his time with my little clique of 3. He had a sweet nature and was a natural mediator, he gave great hugs and knew how to stop the flow of teenage tears. Lee was the kind of friend that you wanted around when there was trouble. He was a peace maker and a care taker and I could not count the number of times he got me home safely. He respected my parents and was very scared of my dad (everyone was!). I forget now how we ever lost touch, but we did until recently.

Lee now works with young PEOPLE, some of them troubled, something that doesn't surprise me in the slightest, neither does his passion for boxing. Combine the two and you have a recipe for making a difference. My family is involved in the boxing scene and so this is how our paths crossed again. He is a coach and corner man in the amateur game.

My son has just been introduced to the sport and had his first bout last night, which he won in spectacular style. I didn't go to the show and so it wasn't until afterwards that I found out that at this crucial point in my sons life, his first time in the ring, that his corner man was Lee.

That is how the world turns and that made last night all the more special for me.

MISSING

A young man, who I do not know, but by coincidence happens to share the same birth name as me, has gone missing in Hull. Nearly 50,000 PEOPLE (including me) have joined a facebook group that is appealing for information and pleading for PEOPLE to look out for him in the hope that he will be reunited with his family.

Alex Spence went on a night out last Saturday with his sister and some friends. He left the pub at 10.30pm to make the short journey home to his wife and young family. He never arrived. That was almost a week ago. The truth is NO ONE at this moment in time knows what happened to Alex. I cannot imagine what his family and friends are going through and my thoughts are very much with them as I write this. This story really made me think about what would happen if one of my friends or family simply vanished like that. My feeling is that many PEOPLE will be thinking the same thing, which is why the facebook group set up to find him has attracted so many members, many of whom do not even know him.

Can you stop for a minute to imagine if your son, brother, nephew, cousin, dad, husband or friend simply didn't come home from a night out? I thought about it as a result of this story.

What would be going through your mind?
How would you ever get your head round it?
How would you function?
What would you actually do with your day?
Would you sleep?
Who would you talk to?
What would the PEOPLE around you say or do?
How would you explain it to the children?
What questions would you be asking yourself?
What would you be hoping had happened?
What would you be wishing hadn't happened?
What would you have wanted to have said to him the very last time you spoke?
What would you say to him when he is found safely?
Would you be wondering if he will ever come home?
What would be your greatest hope?
What would be your greatest fear?

These are hard questions to answer without experiencing what Alex's family and friends are experiencing right now. I truly hope and pray that Alex will be reunited with his family and soon and that I only ever have to imagine the torture they are going through.

This is a blog about PEOPLE, and thanks to facebook, this appeal has illustrated that even when PEOPLE do not know the person that they are trying to help, when a story like this touches us, it does so in the most profound way. I am positive that those who know Alex will appreciate the support, help and exposure that facebook has enabled them to have in their plight to find Alex, but in reality, they just want him home.

So do nearly 50,000 other PEOPLE.

That child has been here before

Have you ever come across a child whose antics make you think they must have been here before?

My niece Maisie Mae (aka Maisie Mayhem) is such a creature. She is the youngest of 14 grandchildren and we knew from the time that she was conceived that this would likely be the case and so her arrival was eagerly anticipated by the whole family, but especially by those of us who socialise with her parents regularly, and as a result have become an integral part of her happy little existence.

Maisie was born into a world of adoration, surrounded by people who treated her as though she was special, much to the dismay of her mum who often says, what chance do I have? None of us can say no to her..... This is something that she has never taken advantage of although she knows just how to play every single one of us.

At 4 years old (nearly 5), she is a political animal, she knows how to get what she wants, but unlike other 4 year olds she doesn't want material things necessarily although she is partial to the odd pair of sparkly shoes, she doesn't scream for attention, she doesn't need to. She doesn't want to annoy, she does not want to antagonise and she never exploits the soft hearts around her. What Maisie wants is to make PEOPLE smile and she knows how to do that, she wants to remind everyone around in the most subtle of ways of what a joy life is. When you are around her you feel like you are in good company.

I just had the pleasure of spending 3 whole days with Maisie, without her parents, just me, her 2 cousins (or puppets) my sister and her nan. It happened by accident and was a last minute trip. I always knew she was hard labour but we were in for the most pleasant of surprises. That child knows how to be happy, knows how to laugh and make other PEOPLE laugh in a way that a child of her age should just not know about. Oh and she is hard labour!

So what are the things that make me think she has been here before...

She knows what family is and the fact that she was away with us was the same in her mind as though she was with her immediate family. Not once did she whine or complain of missing home, she knew instinctively she was in safe hands and was happy to be there, you can't buy that.
She is adaptable and can turn her hand to any social situation that she finds herself in, among adults and children alike.
She understands hierarchy.
She is sensitive but only when she needs to be and harsh when its called for.
She knows who is who and takes time to understand what makes those around her tick.
She knows that Green is not her favourite colour, but is partial to red, white and blue.
She knows when to be quiete and can be when she totally understands WHY?.
She knows about respect and places it well.
She knows when laughter is in order and manages to trigger it with almost every word.
She knows when a situation needs to be diffused.
She knows whose hand to hold at any given time.
She loves life whole heartedly and every quip and comment illustrates it in a way that makes her adult companions go... WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????
She remembers every comment and situation that she has ever been in and uses adult humour in a way that 4 year olds shouldn't be able to.
She remembers things that she shouldn't and forgets things she should.
She is insightful and articulate beyond her years.
She remembers those that have passed and reminds us of them, just at the moment that a special song is playing or on a date that already has them on our mind.

There are endless examples of when Maisie has made us think 'That child has been here before'.

Maisie is a gift to us, but I am positive that many reading this can think of a child that is a gift to them. They are not necessarily bright, funny or full of personality like Maisie, but it does make you wonder sometimes, are these children sent to us as a reminder of the joy that life can bring and to remind us to embrace life as though we were 4. Are they a gift from the PEOPLE that we cared about that want us to know their spirit lives on? Whatever the reason, Maisie is here and don't we know it! I am so grateful that I am a part of her colourful life.

I know I am not alone in wishing we could press the PAUSE button and keep her as she is now forever, I say that to her all the time and she says, I can't be 4 forever, you need to get over it!

Let me hate you

Let me hate you because you fooled me
Let me hate you because you patronised me
Let me hate you for helping me to see a side of myself that I don't like
Let me hate you for thinking you know whats best
Let me hate you because you broke me
Let me hate you because you ruined me
Let me hate you because you left me
Let me hate you because you laughed at me
Let me hate you for thinking that you were doing the right thing by me, when you weren't
Let me hate you because you thought you knew where I was going or where I wanted to be
But let me hate you most of all for not asking me
For guessing or trying to without understanding me
Let me hate you for all these reasons, but don't let me hate you for saying you did it for me, I think you did, but it just didn't feel like it.
Don't let me hate you for trying to hang on to me once you did all of this.
That would be too much.

Talent

I truly believe that everyone has a talent for something. It is usually something they are passionate about and that they are good at. Sometimes it goes without being noticed, here is an example of when it is noticed.

I discovered at the weekend that my nephew (and godson) has a talent for writing. He showed me a story that he has written that will be assessed as part of his GCSE (he is 14) it blew me away. He does not write as though he is 14 and when PEOPLE showed a genuine interest in his writing I seen a side to him that I have never seen. He is passionate about it and although he has always come across as a creative being, the skill with which he writes came as a bit of surprise. Through this piece of work I got to understand more about him (he is a sit in the background kind of kid), the flair with which he writes highlighted to me that this is indeed his talent.

I believe that talent should be nurtured and encouraged and put on display for other PEOPLE to enjoy. So I have asked Cameron to write a guest post for my blog about PEOPLE (this may be a risky strategy). I promised that I will not edit it in the slightest. I have just set eyes on what he wrote and it made me smile ALOT!

I hope it makes you smile too.

The family get together

The family get together can bring a huge mix of emotions and slurred words that trickle from the drunken men and women alike. The sound of UB40 blasts through the floorboards whilst neighbours and infants sleep. Even the people that aren’t actually related to us still feel apart of something bigger. The family get together is, more often than not, a last minute impulse, some look forward to it and others dread it. The get together can take many forms whether that be a ‘sophisticated’ dinner party or a 24 hour binge and the hosts will usually only invite those who they regularly converse and socialize with, but that’s not to say those who don’t get invited are any less part of the family or less loved by us all. The children will stay up later than normal and the adults will drink a whole lot more than usual. The kitchen will be stacked high with so much alcohol that you could probably start your own off licence. The smell of cigarette smoke and the sound of thoughtful conversations drift through the air and the younger ones will happily sit and watch the commotion go on. Some people will arrive drunk and others it’s a slow trip from the vodka bottle to stumbling in to the back of a taxi. People feel compelled to do things that they usually wouldn’t do, they feel the need to spend the day before making sure the house is spotless and usually it’s the more untidy of the pair that hosts. The ones who have no one to talk to will happily dance by them selves until someone will join them, the ones who over do it slightly and end up throwing up on the laminate flooring, the ones who turn the music up full volume with no care for anyone else but the family who wish to have a good time, the ones who even drunk will continue to try to keep a tidy living space, the ones who will leave because their kids have fallen asleep on the sofa, the ones who won’t leave just because their kids have fallen asleep on the sofa, the ones that will leave after a few hours and the ones that are too young to understand half of what’s going on but will continue to smile and hopelessly beg to go home, will all come together as one family. Even though it has it’s ups and downs and some people will leave upset and others bursting with excitement, tomorrow is another day and family will always be there to forgive and forget.

Please leave a comment to let him know that it's not just his crazy aunties bias that led to me sharing this with you.

Let's Pretend

My neice is 5 and says the funniest things, but often the funniest come out when she is playing 'Let's Pretend'. She pretends to be a catwalk model, she pretends to be a teacher, she pretends to be a mummy and she pretends to talk on a fake mobile phone.

The other day she was chatting away in an American accent in the back of my brothers car and he overheard her saying... Hold on a second, just checking my GPS... Underneath a smile my brother asked, what is GPS? She replied, oh don't worry it's something major that you just wouldn't understand.

This got me thinking about how pretending is different to other things that PEOPLE do. It isn't the same as lying, it isn't the same as being fake and neither is it the same as being two faced. Mainly because those things are seen as bad, but pretending isn't usually and of course no one actually knows that you are doing it.

It is something that we do alot as children, but as adults we do it too, sometimes it is to protect ourselves from an awkward conversation and other times it is to protect those that we care about. Pretending isn't usually malicious and I don't think it is something that we can say is wrong in every circumstance either. The following examples are meant to illustrate the point as opposed to stating things that I personally pretend about. They are meant to make you think about the fact that it is ok to pretend sometimes, as usually there is a good reason behind it, it makes life a little easier and the consequences of pretending are rarely negative.

We PRETEND we are OK.
We PRETEND we are not embarrased.
We PRETEND the food was lovely.
We PRETEND we are not scared.
We PRETEND to like work.
We PRETEND that some things don't matter.
We PRETEND to like our in laws.
We PRETEND that that conversation with our friend didn't happen.
We PRETEND to understand things that we don't.
We PRETEND we didn't see someone when we did.
We PRETEND we are not bothered.
We PRETEND to be enjoying ourselves.
We PRETEND to be happy about things when we are not.

I am sure that everyone reading this can think of a time when they pretended like this and I am positive that mostly there was a good reason for it and that no malice was intended. I am also sure that in doing so, some PEOPLE will have questioned your motives, had they known your were pretending.

There are times when it is not ok to pretend as the outcome is not harmony but hurt.

If you PRETEND to love someone when you don't.
If you PRETEND to be a friend when you are not.
If you PRETEND you care when you don't.
If you PRETEND you are someone you are not.

Let's Pretend.....

Ending every sentence as though its a question...

This post is not meant to belittle anyone, just to point out something that makes PEOPLE uncomfortable sometimes. If this is something you have ever done you will probably cringe, if it is something you do now, I hope it makes you think.

I have noticed that when young PEOPLE head of to University they often adopt this manner of speech. PEOPLE who have just been travelling do it too. PEOPLE who think they are smarter than they really are do it, PEOPLE who want to be cool and hip do it, it can come across as patronising and even ridiculous, but mostly it makes me smile. It is usually a temporary impediment, and to me it is the most bizarre thing ever that PEOPLE who do it do not realise that they do it and that they are joining other PEOPLE in doing it, they do not realise how it makes them look and sound. PEOPLE that do this may not be intelligent enough to realise that this post is about them.

If they are PEOPLE I know, it doesn't change how I look at them, what I think about them or how I feel about them. But sometimes it just needs to be pointed out that this is actually a temporary impediment that PEOPLE hear every time you talk. I don't think I have ever done it, I would never get away with it because the PEOPLE around me would pick up on it too quickly and rip the arse out of me for it.



Speak with conviction. Speak with authority, its the only way PEOPLE will listen to you.

Count your blessings

Sometimes, when things happen that make you think the world is a bad place or life is hard, it pays to count your blessings. I am often heard saying, cheer up it could be worse. This is a blog about PEOPLE and sometimes PEOPLE forget that it is a blessing just to be able to walk, talk and breathe freely. My son is not a bad lad, but by some bizarre coincidence, two of his friends were recently sent to prison, nothing serious but it does make you think about the simple blessing of liberty. Thinking of his friends, one of whom I have known since he was a kid made me think about how just being able to sit here and write or talk to a friend on the phone, or decide for myself what to have for dinner, is a blessing. Here is a little gem that I found on the internet.

The following is something to ponder:

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very rare.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder ... you are blessed because you can offer healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, and count your blessings!

Author Unknown

My sister

My sister has a learning disability, she is dyslexic. Her status updates on Facebook always make me smile, she loves her gods and believes in dog. She doesn’t have any trouble in making herself understood although at times it has led to embarrassment. She loves my blog so much that I couldn't leave it any longer to write a post about her. I toyed with the idea of asking her to write this post to illustrate the fact that jumbling up a few words doesn’t really make alot of difference in the grand scheme of things. PEOPLE would have had no trouble understanding her written words, in fact she has the gift of making PEOPLE smile when they read what she writes. I changed my mind mainly because I didn’t want to open myself up to criticism.

Some PEOPLE might think I was using her disability to make her look stupid. Some PEOPLE may think I am making fun of her or trying to make her look daft, foolish or thick. She is none of those things. I adore her, so do you think it matters to me whether she can spell or not?

My sister is a brilliant sister, she would do anything for anyone and is one of the kindest PEOPLE I know. She has as much patience as one person can have and is never busy. She is a bit of legend around here for many reasons. She helps PEOPLE who find themselves in a sticky spot and over the years has opened up her home to troubled teenagers, dysfunctional families and PEOPLE who just had nowhere else to go. So many PEOPLE are very fond of her and PEOPLE always say, I love Rita.

She has never had material wealth and it doesn’t really bother her in the slightest. She is one of lifes givers and throughout her life has consistently given more than she would ever take. She is a good listener and gives the BEST advice no matter what the situation. She is a mum of five, a sister to four, a daughter to two and an auntie to fifteen. She is a friend of too many PEOPLE to count.

When she was younger she cracked her head open and has a massive scar on her head to prove it. I remember vividly the night she came home from hospital having been stitched up. She was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom. She fell out of bed and promptly climbed back in without a sound. The next morning my mum came in to what looked like a massacre, her head had split open again and she had slept as she bled. From that day my parents always said that bump on the head did something to her brain. In a family like ours where faults and flaws are magnified by 1000 and exposed in the most brutal but funny way, this has meant that she has been subjected to her fair share of ridicule. So have we all!

Until last year my sister had never worked and devoted herself to being a mum mainly, but also to being a good friend to everyone round her. The opportunity came up for her to do some voluntary work in Headway, a charity that supports PEOPLE with brain injury. I was privilidged enough to visit the centre where she works and meet some of the PEOPLE that she works with. I came away feeling sad, humble, inspired and a little bit inadequate. But mostly I felt PROUD of my big sister. She is perfectly suited to this line of work and she is making a difference every day.

The funny thing is that as she is learning more about the PEOPLE that she works with, who despite their troubles somehow seem to just know she cares, she has realised that maybe that bump on the head did do something to her brain. She now sees herself as lucky that despite this she has managed to lead a normal life without too much difficulty. She is devoted to helping the PEOPLE she works with and they like us all, are lucky to have her.

Who cares whether she can spell or not?

Presents and Gifts

Easter is upon us and this weekend too many children will eat too much chocolate.

Some PEOPLE will give eggs, some PEOPLE will give Toblerone or a chocolate bar the size of a baking tray. Some PEOPLE will give money, some PEOPLE will give something that someone really wants. How much of it will they really need?

I prefer to give gifts rather than presents. Not all presents are gifts. There is a difference...

In my humble opinion, a present is something that is nicely wrapped and presented even though it isn't necessarily wanted or needed. A gift is something that makes someone happy or shows someone you care, a gift is well thought out but doesn't need to cost alot, a gift makes a difference.

Some presents can be gifts, like; Music, Books, Holidays, Alcohol or Lottery tickets, all of these things can make a difference. The real gifts are often free; a timely text or e mail, your time, your ear, patience, understanding, love, consideration, support and friendship. They feel good to give and good to receive.

Gifts are given to PEOPLE that we care about, just when they need them the most, not only on a special occasions.

So if you ask me if I prefer to give Presents or Gifts, I would say Gifts. If you asked me, what about Presents? I would say, your presence is more important than presents.

I consider the best gifts in my life to be the presence of PEOPLE I care about.

So this easter, give presents if you wish, but give someone a gift too. It makes a difference.

Grandparents

I do not have grandparents, all 4 of my grandparents are long gone. We do talk about them though and the fact that they didn't really have much and about what a brilliant existence they would have if they were still here. How well they would be looked after, what they would think of this one or that one, how they would revel at the arrival of great grandchildren and be as spoilt as the kids were.

My granny taught me to knit (not useful), to make a cup of tea (useful), to peel spuds (useful), and to empty and clean a coal fire (not useful). I have cherished memories of evenings in with grandparents as a child and I will never forget their faces, their hair, their songs and stories, their kindness and the love they gave to all of us in abundance. They had no material wealth, in fact they had a damned hard time of it, but the thing they did have was love, and lots of it. Oh and they REALLY knew how to have a good time on next to nothing and to laugh.

I do not have grandchildren, YET. I hope one day to have them and it won't matter whether I am ready or not, I will embrace it for I have seen the joy that grandchildren bring. I know some PEOPLE who do have them and mostly they cherish the little souls that their children brought into this earth. Most PEOPLE find them easy to love. Now that I can imagine.

Some PEOPLE don't get to spend time with their grandchildren, some PEOPLE don't even know they exist. Some PEOPLE are separated from them by; paternity disputes, failed relationships, bitterness or geography. Sometimes its permanent, sometimes it's not. Some PEOPLE will never have them because they never had chidren of their own, or because they were bad parents themselves.

I heard a lovely quote some time ago and I can't remember where from; Listen to what your father says, otherwise you will never know who your grandfather was.

My parents have 14 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild and they love them all in equal measure. They are a source of amusement and you will often hear my parents saying, she is like her and he is like him, it must be brilliant to see your own kids in a little ones face.

There are some things which I have come to realise as a parent, and my boys are fortunate enough to have 2 sets of grandparents that adore them. They each have special and unique relationships with all 4.

Here is the advice that I give to my boys: Your grandparents will do anything for you, they will teach you anything you need to know, they have the most interesting stories and will make you laugh, they will feed you until you can't move and they would give you their last penny, but never ask them for it. The only thing they want in return is your time, so please take the time to let them know you love them. Pick up the phone, go round for breakfast, dinner or tea, they will be more interested than anyone in how your day was or how your doing at school. Do this because you want to, not because its a chore or a bore. Cherish them for they cherish you and they won't always be around.

It seems weird to me that my grandchildren may one day read this blog and know what their nan said to their dad and that all I would ever want from them is their time, but something tells me this wisdom will have been passed on to them long before they can read. They will know though from here, that I looked forward to their arrival and that I will cherish them.

Married Single Other... Lillies letter

I wonder how many of you watched with tears in your eyes as Eddie read out Lillies letter.

I wanted a permanent reminder of her words and this moved me to write this post. I am sure it is one that I will return to, other PEOPLE might too.

Dear Freeloaders

I am sorry I am late for my own party (if the LATE gag doesn't get a laugh its because you didn't read it right Ed) I do hope you're not moping about the place like miserable saps, I will not tolerate tears, bubbly snot or negativity of any description.

I was lucky beyond all measure, I got to be with my Eddie and tricked him into loving me and after a brief 16 year pause, marry me. He gave me my beautiful clever not altogether hygenic boys, gorgeous Joe and handsome Harry. I got to laugh, I got to kiss and bunk off work and spend far too much money on shoe related products. Apart from a slight hitch where that bastard God short changed me out of 3 decades I can't complain. I am far more concerned about you hopeless herberts. Everyone I love is in this room tonight and I envoke stiff rights to tell you all exactly what I think of you.

You are in my opinion, making the most awful tits up of your lives. All that matters in life is love and you are wasting love, you are loving the wrong people or not loving the right people enough, or not loving at all. Love more. Love pure. Love until you forget yourself. Love the one ur with but make sure your with the right person first. Put aside all that is not love unless it has a one inch kitten heel.

And now to more practical matters, I want to go to bed happy knowing that my 3 boys wont join me prematurely through starvation, or because of some deadly disease you get from underwashed underwear. So Babs, my best oldest and poorest friend, I want you to move in with my boys, you and Gina cant stay in that flea ridden bedsit anymore. Fifty percent of all Dickies worldly goods is exactly nothing so there is no point in waiting for the divorce to finalise. Don't argue with me cos I can't hear you. Besides Im always right.

Final notes:
Abbie, you are beautiful enough.. eat more pie
Clint, dumbfound everyone and be good
Dickie, read what it says on your birth certificate
Babs, dont analyse so much just do

Ed J and H my love for you is death proof and bigger than the whole sodding universe, now show your respect by dancing madly and badly until you collapse in a sweaty heap.

Love Lillie

Time

Time is a funny thing. Today signals the first day of British summertime and at midnight last night the clocks went forward an hour.

“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.”

I am sure that we will all hear stories today about the PEOPLE that forgot to turn the clocks forward. Some PEOPLE will wake up confused and some PEOPLE will be late for; their bus, the race, work, church, football games and sunday dinner. Some PEOPLE will miss a TV or radio programme. Some PEOPLE will let someone down, some PEOPLE will get stood up. Some of this will matter, some of it won't.

PEOPLE that went out last night will feel like they have been robbed. PEOPLE who are lonely will be happy to give that hour away. PEOPLE will spend the day and the next few mornings saying, its this time, so really it's that time. Some PEOPLE will use it to their advantage and some PEOPLE will use it as an excuse.

The mornings will be slightly darker and harder, the evenings will be brighter, some PEOPLE will fancy a walk in the park. By the time Wednesday comes everyone will have settled into the new time zone.

Although that hour is lost, we will get it back in October, what will you do with it?

Anyone can run a marathon

The London Marathon is in a few weeks.. I ran the London Marathon.... it is too long ago now for me to talk about too much and this is the only time of year I get the chance.

Training for and running a marathon is an ordeal, it takes dedication, motivation, courage and stamina, you do not have to be an athlete, but if you have those other things, the running just comes. I was certainly never a runner. I just wanted to do it, and in doing it I realised that PEOPLE can do anything they set their minds to if they really want to.

The thing that surprised me most about the Marathon was how much I DIDN'T know walking into it. I had read the books, stuck to the training schedule and considered myself prepared. HA, there are so many things that you do not know and could not know in advance unless you actually do it. The route and set up changes from time to time and my perspective is based on the fact that I was not built for speed and had estimated that my time would be about four and a half hours. Here is what I found out on the day.

It take 30 minutes just to cross the START line
You more or less run the whole race with the same PEOPLE
If you are slow you get to run the race with PEOPLE in costumes
The most important PEOPLE in the race are the spectators
If you wear your name on your shirt PEOPLE shout encouragement as if they know you
You wear a chip on your shoe so that you can't cheat and so that if you get injured or lost, the organisers can locate you
The route takes you through housing estates and past pubs where street parties go on
At mile 9 there is a little green in the middle of an estate where there are a team of PEOPLE offering massages, you just stop, lie down and they give you rub!
At mile 12, the PEOPLE on the other side of the road are on mile 22 - nearly finished
Beefeaters at the Tower of London cheer you on
You can get the chance to sweat with a celebrity
You experience humility when you run beside someone over 90
At mile 19, just when you hit 'the wall' (when your body has run out of fuel and your legs turn to jelly) there is a deathly silence because there are no spectators

This was the worst part of the race for me, Canary Wharf, suddenly it went quiete, PEOPLE were crying, legs were buckling and there was an air of despair. That mile and a half was the most challenging of the whole race (ha, did I just call it a race?). PEOPLE who had ran it before were encouraging the first timers to just keep moving, get over the wall and you are almost there...most of us did.

Soon you start to hear the faint sound of cheering and you know that you are about to find the crowd again. Before you do, you leave the quiete place behind and go under a long dark tunnel, you can hear the cheers at the other end, PEOPLE started laughing in that tunnel almost as though they couldn't believe they had got through 'the wall' and those who had resorted to walking picked up their pace. It was the most natural high I am ever likely to feel. At this point, I was running alongside someone who was dressed as Charlie Chaplin. I had the Wombles behind me, I would be forgiven for thinking oh dear, I am as slow as the Wombles. It was at this moment though that I realised what this was all about. PEOPLE who were willing not only to run but to run in costumes that weighed more than them. Some PEOPLE are just better than me.

When you come out of the tunnel there are literally 1000's of PEOPLE clapping and cheering above your head to the right and to the left. As we emerged from the tunnel I realised I couldn't have had better companions. The crowd started singing.... Remember your a womble CLAP Remember your a womble CLAP Remembermembermember what a womble womble womble you are. We were dancing, running, laughing and crying. It was an amazing experience and I would suggest that if the thought has ever entered your head to do it, GO FOR IT!

When three worlds collide

This post is meant to serve as a reminder that good PEOPLE treat everyone the same. They take PEOPLE as they find them and don't judge someone on the job they do or the place they are in at the point at which they come across them. It also serves as a reminder that this is a small world and you never know when you might cross paths with someone or when they might cross your path again, different circumstance, different situation, the same PEOPLE.

When my eldest son was about 4 I worked as a waitress, I still maintain to this day that it is a job that EVERYONE should do, it really shows you the measure of PEOPLE. In fact I had two waitressing jobs at the same time, it was just before I became a club singer (another post). One was in a local pub/restaurant and the other was in a fast paced american diner type of place in the centre of town. Waitressing was one of my favourite jobs. I LOVED it. Imagine how many different PEOPLE you come across.

There are two sides to waitressing, the customer side (which I loved) and the staff side. There are two sides to staff, chefs (who for some reason think they are the dogs nuts?) and the waitresses/waiters, who work their arses off and take shit from both sides.

I mentioned in one of my other posts that pubs used to close at 3pm on a Sunday, this was during that time. The only place you could get a drink after time was in a restaurant and only if you were eating. I finished at 4 on a Sunday.

This family used to come in at around 3.30 almost every Sunday I used to look forward to the mayhem they caused as people realised they weren't really there to eat. There was a smell of money off them, I thought they were in a different class to me, they didn't. They ordered champagne, drank cognac, the food didn't really matter but they ordered lots of it. This family consisted of a very distinguished looking dad, a rather glam wife and a couple of wayward adult kids, both of whom were beautiful and full of fun, I made my job fun and they could tell. There were sometimes others, but that was the core of it.

After a few weeks of them coming in, every time they seen me put my coat on they would call me to the table and say come and have a drink with us. I never knew if they were joking and so for a long time I didn't dare accept. One day, and I was having a particularly bad one, on the way out they said come on live a little, have a drink with us. I did.... that day I realised that I had something in common with these PEOPLE, my family were the same as theirs. Dad has his place, mum had hers, the kids respected both but all of them had a sense of fun about them, they laughed at each other, enjoyed each others company and a banter and had only one aim in mind, to have a good time. These were my kind of PEOPLE.

When I left the job I left the memory of those PEOPLE behind but remembered them and often told PEOPLE about this crazy family.

YEARS later, at the time when I was running the working mens club a friend of mine and my husbands walked in with a boy and a girl that I recognised, I couldn't remember where I knew them from so didn't say hello. Our friend said, these people know Sean (my sisters best mate) do you have his number? Sean is another story and one that will be told another day, but lets just say, he wasn't the kind of man who would thank you for giving strangers his number.

I called him and gave him the clues that the girl gave me and he said YES I know her, put her on the phone. As she was talking, I remembered that she was the daughter of that family from those days. When she put the phone down I said, I remember you. She instantly remembered me and the fact that her brother who was standing there used to have a crush on me in those days (blush). So two good PEOPLE were brought together again, through me, the random waitress turned working mens club steward ess! Turns out they had shared an amazing connection at a local festival a few years earlier, they had lost touch but were meant to be life long friends, turns out they were.

In another bizarre twist to this story, at some point in time, when my sister was a taxi driver, she had one day picked up a girl who she connected with instantly, in fact that girl asked her to come in for a drink when she reached her destintation. It had been the same girl. Soooooo the 3 of us had come across the same girl in different circumstances and felt a connection. They say that there is always a common denominator, for us, she is it.

Her name is Emma, she is one of the most awesome characters I have ever met, it comes from being from an awesome family, PEOPLE that know what love is, PEOPLE that know what fun is. She doesn't make friends easily and trust me she is no mug. That's what makes this story so unbelievable.

She made 3 friends separately that later she found were connected in the most bizarre way. Two years ago, Sean was taken suddenly and too soon, Emma was one of the first people I called, she was living in Amsterdam at the time and got the first flight back, we needed her here. She is one hell of a bird. She is a spiritual soul and whenever her name is mentioned, she appears from nowhere.

Karaoke time

I have a friend who is the most simple of characters. She is absolutely adorable, has the funniest chuckle and says the funniest things, when she asks a question you know something funny is coming. I remember when I was growing my hair and had it in an awkward ponytail... Joyce asked - are you growing your hair? I said yes, she said, bet you will be glad when you can get rid of that stupid looking ponytail, followed by sorry babe but I don't like it. HA! It would be easy to take offence, but no one ever does. I am not sure exactly how she views the world, but I sometimes think it would be a better place if there were more PEOPLE like her. I have so many funny stories involving her, but this is my favourite one.

Joyce is well into her 60's and does really well for her age but that doesn't stop her from enjoying herself. She even goes on girls holidays with her daughters and their friends. It was during one of these holidays that Joyce decided to treat the girls to a trip. She liked the idea of a boat trip.

She knew that to get more than 6 people on a boat trip you had to book the day before and that you always get a better deal if you go direct to the harbour. She also knew the boats leave REALLY early in the morning and decided it didn't matter that they had only just arrived, everyone was ready to party! She found a friendly Greek Sailor man, and asked him where his boat goes, he told her and didn't have to sell too hard. Instantly she thought JACKPOT, a karaoke boat, PERFECT. She couldn't wait to get back and tell the girls that tomorrow... they were going to party all day AGAIN.

By the time she got back, the party had reached fever pitch and everyone was doing what all self respecting PEOPLE do on the first day of their holiday, getting hammered! She told the girls about the friendly Greek Sailor man and announced that tomorrow they would be going on a karaoke boat for an all day session. WICKED! Before Joyce left the party she reminded everyone about the early start. They had to be at the harbour no later than 7.30am. At 7.30am she rallied the troops, some of whom had slept just a couple of hours and were still in their clothes from the night before. The tickets were non-refundable so they had no choice but to follow Joyce to the harbour.

When they got to the harbour, most were still a little drowsy and not too concerned that Joyce couldn't find her friendly Greek Sailor man, they rested on benches and moaned about their sore heads. He found her. They all clambered onto the boat without realising that there didn't seem to be any equipment? No one cared, they figured that they would be taken somewhere and the party would be there, it didn't matter that they had to wait, the rest was in order.

Some hours later they arrived at their destination, weary and in need of a drink. The friendly greek sailor man announced, WELCOME to Spinalonga island. Joyces karaoke boat to Singalonga island had just landed in a well known tourist spot, a former leper colony.

The Joker

Think of a pack of cards... think of how we can use a deck of cards to describe PEOPLE that we know. We all know a few DIAMONDS, we all know someone with HEART, some of us call a SPADE a SPADE. Everyone has a KING or QUEEN and we all know someone that we refer to as ACE. How many of us has a JOKER?

This is a quote from the internet about Jokers

'Jokers are one of those funny things -- many decks don't have jokers, and in most cases you can lose the jokers and it doesn't matter. Each pack of cards has two, so why include them?'

I know and have known a few JOKERS and they have some things in common so my response to that is, what would we do without them?

Jokers are the PEOPLE that send the sick joke by text FIRST, in fact the mobile phone is one of their favourite weapons. Jokers are the PEOPLE that will do anything to make PEOPLE laugh, even if it makes them look stupid. They are quick witted, agile and articulate with their comments and if anyone dares to challenge their humour, the come backs can be excruciating for everyone within 10 feet. No one is spared from abuse and ridicule once they are on a roll. Jokers are the kind of PEOPLE that do not see boundaries.

They see the funny side of everything, even when it is totally inappropriate. In a social situation, they position themselves so that they can see and hear everything that is going on and pounce with their one liners at every opportunity. Jokers have the ability to take a single joke and revolve a whole evening around it, often at the expense of one or more PEOPLE. Jokers dont care too much for pomp and ceremony and can turn informal occasions into a nightmare for their nearest and dearest. Jokers are not the kind of PEOPLE to adhere to social graces and they are not the kind of PEOPLE that you see in a restaurant very often. Jokers are mischeivous and can be painfully funny and they have a tendency to say things that make everyone around them cringe.

Some PEOPLE stay out of their way, some PEOPLE find them offensive, some PEOPLE think they are stupid and ignorant, some PEOPLE would rather die than sit in their company. Some PEOPLE can't understand why anyone else would want to. Some PEOPLE make the mistake of laughing AT them. Some PEOPLE can't take a joke. Some PEOPLE need to lighten up.

If you are fortunate enough to have a joker, you will know why I asked, what would we do without them?

Jokers are the kind of PEOPLE that force you to laugh at yourself. Their jokes are often a term of endearment and they appreciate you letting them use you to make other PEOPLE laugh. Jokers do not reflect on how many PEOPLE they upset, but on how many PEOPLE they made laugh. At home and with their families they can be the kindest, most considerate partners and parents. The jokers I know ADORE their kids. When things go wrong, they rise to the top and make sure everyone is ok, they are the kind of PEOPLE that help you laugh through the most sombre times. Jokers are among the most loving PEOPLE I know and are not afraid to show it to the PEOPLE who are fortunate enough to have them close. Jokers say 'I love you' alot, they give the best hugs and have the most tender souls. Their families worry about them sometimes and worry that their antics might one day get them into trouble.

Jokers are hard to fathom but easy to love and most of the time they are worth the hassle.

If the people I knew were a pack of cards, I am lucky enough to have a fair amount of DIAMONDS and have plenty of PEOPLE around me who have HEART. Those that know me would say I call a SPADE a SPADE! My mum is my QUEEN and my dad is my KING but all my family and friends are ACE. I am also fortunate enough to have couple of JOKERS. What do you have?

True Story

I have a friend who for reasons that will become clear I am not going to name.

She is a bit of a fridge, in fact she has been with her partner for over 20 years and I would bet that he has never seen her in the buff. The kind of girl that wears thermals to bed.

Some years ago she was relaxing in the bath, the only place she has no choice but to be naked. She hadn't been in there for too long when there was a knock at the door, she had no intention of answering it. The caller persisted and she was growing more annoyed with every knock. After about 10 minutes of closing her eyes and hoping the caller would go away the thought entered her head that it might be important, still she had no intention of opening the door unless it was. She had an idea.

Quick as a flash she jumped out of the bath, so furious that she didnt even think to grab a towel! She bounded out of the bathroom dripping wet, ran down the hall way and looked through the eye in the door, or the peep hole. There was no one there!

She stood for about 20 seconds looking through the peep hole in case the caller had walked away and might come back, she didn't want to get back into the bath only to hear more knocking. She didn't realise that the caller, well he was looking through the letter box.

Culture Vulture

I LOVE hearing about and learning about different cultures, I think I get this trait from my dad, who is very much a live and let live kinda person and one of the wisest men I know.

When I first started University I was propelled into a previously unknown world. This was a traditional (often referred to as red brick) University, in fact some of the PEOPLE that went there knew they were going there before they even started school! It has a culture of its own to be fair and as a mature student, I was like a bit of an alien.

I am from a working class background, the first in my family to go to University - my brother still thinks that the letters after my name (BSc) mean mad cow! I had worked VERY hard to get there and was one of just 70 that got on to my course out of 700, which was top in the country for my subject area. For once, diversity went in my favour (ageism), I was among some of the brightest young people in the country. The journey there and back was like time travel. I was running a working mens club and spending my evenings with 60 year olds, then spending my days with 19 year olds.

The adjustment to my new life as a mature student was difficult. Not just because I was still of the mindset of 'can I do this?, am I clever enough?', but because to my surprise for the first time in my life I found it really difficult to make friends. Lets face it what does a 30 something mother of 2 who runs a working mens club in the red light district of a town 50 miles away got in common with any of these PEOPLE.

In fact I found it so difficult that between lectures (which was sometimes more than 3 hours) I would go to my car and sleep! It was a lonely time - PEOPLE who know me will find this unbelievable! All around me I could see little cliques developing, but I just didn't fit into any of them, there wasn't a mature student clique.

All that changed when one day I was on the way to an early morning lecture and I met someone who was to introduce me to her little clique. It was her 19th birthday and that meant we had the same birthsign - EUREKA - I finally found someone I had something in common with.

This was the day when I met 3 people who have become very dear friends and without them I really would not have graduated, I owe more to them than they would ever take credit for.

My new freinds were asian. Two were Sikh, one was muslim, as a result I was introduced not only to the University culture but to 2 other cultures that I previously knew NOTHING about. I was ignorant. Can you believe that before that day, the only conversation I had ever had with an asian person was - Have you been busy tonight? (TAXI DRIVER) and Thank you have a nice day (SHOP KEEPER). This was about to change as was my knowledge and insight into cultures that I had never before been exposed to.

Now during breaks in the timetable they would tell me all about their culture and laugh so hard at my reaction to things like the mechanics of an arranged marriage. I was a bit like their new toy, they couldnt believe I was hearing some of these things for the first time. Most of the time I sat with my mouth open, but my heart and mind were open too, that's why these were some of the happiest converstaions I have ever had.

Over the next 3 years I learned how to tell the difference between a Sikhs, Muslims and Hindus. I learned to say one sentence in Punjabi, I learned everything about Sikh weddings and couldn't believe that one day I might actually get a chance to go to one. I learned about the value placed on family, religion and tradition. I learned that as a guest in an asian home you are treated like royalty and that you will be fed within 5 minutes of entering. I learned to love asian food. I learned about how the extended family really works and the role that boys and girls play in family hierarchy. I learned that parents have power! I learned about the importance of education and that hard work pays. I learned that PEOPLE are baffled when they walk into their corner shop and see a 30 something white woman behind the counter.

One post would not do justice to what I learned about PEOPLE from my asian friends and there will be more. There is a photograph in my living room of the three of them, taken on the first ever night we went out together, it reminds me of a very special time. The years have moved on and while I don't see them as often as I would like to our friendship remains solid and very important to us all. The journey I took with them was an awesome one and one that I will never forget.

Some PEOPLE just wouldn't get it. Some PEOPLE need to go meet my friends.

Inspiration at its best

A friend of mine reminded me at the weekend of this video which I shared some time ago on facebook.

Even if you have already seen it, watch the video....



Some PEOPLE make you feel inadequate.

Thank GOD for PEOPLE like this and for videos like this which serve as a reminder that PEOPLE can do the most amazing things.

Theres only minutes in it

My mum is the same as alot of mums, she gets information, takes it in and then shares it among her nearest and dearest. Accuracy is not important. Its a bit of a joke between us that she often gets the numbers wrong, although she is oblivious to the fact that we find this amusing.

My son plays professional football, but after a bad injury his grandad (a boxing coach) offered to take him to the boxing gym to get him back to match fitness. That was 6 months ago. He got stuck into the training and really enjoys it, but after a few months he seen boys getting in the ring to spar, he wanted to have a go.

He did and he LOVES it. So last week my husband called and said, the head coach of the gym had said that our son could make a schoolboy champion in 2 years at the rate he is going. Awesome, but then my mum called and said, he could make it in 12 months. Who should I believe?

We were laughing about this when my mum decided to tell us about my auntie who was on a trip to the Isle of White. She said, its only 20 minutes on the ferry. My brother said what a load of crap, its at least 45 mum. No no no, she wasnt having it, its 20 minutes.

3 days later my brother called and said that he had to go to the Isle of White for a meeting on Friday, we laughed about the fact that it would only take 20 minutes to get there.

So, on Friday morning my brother text me and my mum and said: On the Isle of white ferry, got off after 20 minutes, can you ring the RAC, my engine is flooded. Get it?

It was funny, until my mum called my brother and said 'Are you ok son, why do you want me to ring the RAC?


You couldnt make it up!

Sunflowers

Sunflowers have a special significance to me. Here is why...

Around 7 years ago I was about to embark on the 3rd year of my degree in a University 50 miles from home. I was making that journey most days and had 2 kids and was running a bar (working mens club) at the same time. I would get up early and do the journey, sit in lecture all day, then head home to work. At the end of the day I would study and most days I was lucky to get into bed at 3am, at exam time I was lucky to see my bed at all. When my fellow students were studying at home in the evening, at the weekend, during holidays, I was having my busiest times at work. My job took up 55 hours a week on average. I am not looking for any medals here, I also spent a fair amount of time partying when I shouldnt! It was a struggle but I chose to be there, I chose to do it.

Anyone that has ever managed a bar will tell you that it is a lifestyle, not a job. They will tell you that once you step behind the bar you are fair game for criticism, every mistake you make is magnified by 100 - so what we ran out of Brandy? If you get robbed (which we did a number of times) it has got to be an inside job. If there is trouble, there is always more that you could of done to stop it and you have to act as a mediator and peacemaker and no one believes you are impartial. Your morals and standards are questioned constantly by the same PEOPLE that expect service with a smile. When that bar is in the centre of a strong cummunity every move you make is scrutinised and criticised. PEOPLE expect you to be 'nice' to them no matter how they treat you. You can be the subject of cruel gossip and rumours and powerless to stop it. Of course it would be wrong to say all PEOPLE are the same, I had plenty of supporters.

By then end of the 2nd year of my degree, I had let these PEOPLE grind me down, I cared about what those PEOPLE thought, I probably shouldnt have. One night after everyone had gone I sat down with my sister and said - this situation is just desperate I cant do it any more. Some PEOPLE hate me, some PEOPLE are saying cruel things about me, some PEOPLE are making my life difficult and I don't understand why, if it wasnt for these PEOPLE I would be ok.

My sister is not a poet or a deep thinker but she said: Listen, you have not come all this way to give up now and you are not going to. There are plenty of PEOPLE that are right behind you - this was correct and I needed to be reminded of that at this precise moment. Whilst the -ve people far outweighed those that supported me, I had made some really good friends, there were good PEOPLE around me. She went on to say, think of it like you are a Sunflower, you are growing at a rapid rate and will bloom only when you reach your goal. These PEOPLE don't want you to grow. They are as significant as tiny flies that are trying to stop you from growing, when they come anywhere near you, just brush them off like they have no significance, because they dont. These PEOPLE do not matter, they have nothing that you need and you should treat them like the parasites that they are. In a years time they won't give you a second thought you will be away from this place - are you really going to let them see you fail?

That was a significant turning point for me and my perspective changed almost instantly. The funny thing was that my sister didn't even remember the conversation until I showed her my graduation speech a few months later. The sunflower theory worked for me. The theme of my graduation party was sunflowers, the PEOPLE that made my life difficult were left sitting in the bar downstairs while my party with a free bar for my supporters was going on upstairs, I have never known an atmosphere like it. This was the first time that I was truly able to let those PEOPLE that tried to drag me down know that I didn't care what they thought anymore. I was never good a drawing but I personally drew a sunflower on each table cloth, the room was ablaze with yellow and white and my dining room is now filled with the gifts that the PEOPLE that were at that party gave me, it is a shrine to sunflowers.

A constant reminder that no matter how much shit PEOPLE want to throw at you, no matter how cruel they are, or how much they want to stop you growing, they are powerless to do so unless you let them.

My friend Danny

I first met Danny when he was about 8 or 9. I was running a bar and he used to come there with his grandparents, they were regulars and the only people that he cared about, apart from his brothers and his parents who had recently split. I could tell from the first time that I met him that Danny was different to other kids, he reminded me of someone that I knew, he was deep and sensitive, had a good heart, but deep down he was wondering why bad things were happening to him, he was hurting. He trusted no one, he didnt care if PEOPLE liked him or not and went out of his way to cause mischeif. I thought he was funny, some PEOPLE thought he was a loose cannon and that he was destined to end up in big trouble somewhere along the line.

The persona he chose to display to most PEOPLE was one of defiant, blatant and chaotic disrespect. He really didn't give a shit what anyone said or thought about him and revelled in the mayhem and havoc that he caused.

Somewhere along the line, he realised that I seen him for who he was, but he had to test it first. I was clearing up glasses and he walked around the counter, picked up a can of coke and threw it in my face. My gut reaction was to pick up another can of coke and fire it in his face. He disappeared for the rest of the evening, I wondered if he would ever realise what that gesture meant. Thankfully he did... he realised that I was telling him - we are on a level kid, I see you for who you are, I see and feel your pain and do you know what, if you just let me in I could be a good friend to you.

Furthermore, I dont give a toss about what everyone else says about you and you know what they say dont you Danny? Some PEOPLE say you are a pain in the arse, some PEOPLE say they dont like you, some PEOPLE hate that you say exactly what is on your mind and some PEOPLE dont like it when you show no respect (despite the fact that they would never show it to you). At the time the same PEOPLE were saying the same about ME.

Our friendship took a long time to develop after that, he tested me every chance he got, I tried to 'get in' every chance I got. It took alot of time for him to truly trust and accept me as a friend. I was an adult with a son almost the same age as him.

By the time he was 12 he was letting me in. One evening after a late night drinking session at the bar, I said to him: Danny after everyone is gone how about me and you go to the park and play on the swings? He looked at me as if to say YOU ARE MAD but he liked the idea of going to the park in the middle of the night, he would!

We had a few hours playing on the swings and even seen one of the locals on his way to work at around 5.30 before I made a pact with Danny. I knew I was going to be leaving my job soon and that it was unlikely that I would be around for him to annoy anymore, so I said, RIGHT we are going to meet in this park on your 18th Birthday, we are going to have a drink together and remember this night, the night that we became friends for life.

I left the bar soon after and lost touch with Danny, although I always asked about him and heard that at 15 he got someone pregnant. We connected on facebook and I talk to him every now and then but hadnt seen him for a few years until the other week. He has turned into a handsome and lovely young man. I could tell when he came in that he was pleased to see me, and I was so happy to see him. He waited for me to say - our date is still on you know - I think he thought I forgot. AS IF.

So, this year on September 18th, Danny and I will go to an off license as soon as it gets dark, get some beer and take a trip to that same park to celebrate his 18th birthday together, and remember the day that the two of us became friends for life. Whatever he is and whatever he becomes, I know that we will always be friends.

I told you I know some awesome PEOPLE. I just sent this to Danny before I posted it and he said - thats very good - and TRUE.

My friend Jan

I have known Jan for about 15 years and she will feature in future posts Im sure. She is one hell of a bird. She has LIVED and knows how to LIVE like tomorrow might never come. She has got the best philosophy on life that I have ever come across, she has told me stories that have literally had my jaw on the floor, boy has she lived, we have shared some very special times. She has had a rougher ride than most of life to be fair but she has taken it all in her stride. She laughs more than anyone I know, she sees the funny side of everything and is the best prankster I know. We are the most unlikely friends.

When I met Jan, I was about to embark on a career as a pub singer and about to do my first gig in a proper dodgy bar - it was in the days when pubs closed at 3 on a Sunday, this place was dodgy cos they closed the curtains at 3 and carried on. I remember walking in and thinking SHIT these people are gunna crucify me, in fact I could die here! Her partner Eddie was sitting at the bar (he looked like a hells angel, pony tail the lot) and they were obviously regulars, but man they looked fierce, I was crapping it. When I started singing they made me feel welcome and I soon realised that they were good PEOPLE, and because they liked me everyone else did, PHEW!

I see her a few times a year these days but we became true friends about 6 years ago... I always go to her house for a drink on Christmas morning, this year, she had found a way to undo forrere roche, empty out the middle and put brussel sprouts in the middle as a surprise for her dinner guests, that just sums her up!

Something really bad happened to Jan 6 years ago and it was the start of a beautiful friendship for us, I know she wont mind me sharing this with you. She was on her way back from India (long haul) after enjoying her annual 3 week break there with Eddie (the same person that Danny and I seen on his way to work that morning in the park). He had proposed to her during the trip which had been an amazing one, these are PEOPLE that know how to enjoy themselves.

In fact they enjoyed themselves so much that some PEOPLE didn't like them. The day they were due back someone came into the bar that I was running at the time - it was a Friday night, he said did you hear what happened to Eddie? I said no? he said Eddie collapsed and died on the plane over Germany, just like that!

I spent the next few hours on the internet trying to locate her, the morgue, the chapel of rest, the airport, but to no avail. My sister said, she will call you.

The plane had to be landed in Munich airport and she had to leave Eddie there to return home, she was worried that they would cremate him and send his ashes back and she needed someone that could speak German to make sure that didn't happen. Although we were not the closest of friends at the time (we understood each other and socialised in the same circles), she knew that I was resourceful and strong and so my sister was right, I was one of the first PEOPLE she called and I collected her, broken and shattered from the airport. That was the day that we became friends for life.

The following weeks were horrendous not just for her, but for everyone around her. I played a small part in helping to sort things out for her; finding someone who spoke German, calling the PEOPLE that needed to be called, transporting her wherever she needed to go even if it was somewhere out of the way so she didnt have to face PEOPLE, getting drunk with her when she needed to and giving her space when she needed solitude to come to terms with her grief. My family helped too, between us we made sure she was eating properly and that there was milk in the fridge. We did this because she is my friend, there is something about friendship that knows no bounds no matter how close you are at the time, I would do the same for any of my friends if they needed it and expect most people reading this would too. Not for thanks, not for praise, not to feel good about yourself, not so you can tell PEOPLE what a wonderful friend you are, just because that is what friendship is about.

Some PEOPLE said I did it because Eddie worked for the council and I thought there might be a big pay out and money in it for me (he was a temp by the way).... Some PEOPLE are just plain cruel.

Eddies was only 52 when he died and his memory lives on in all that knew him. In true Jan style, although it devastated her, she has not let losing him destroy her, she still lives life to the full and she is one of the few people on this planet that make me feel priviledged to know her. She is one hell of a lady!

Only me and Jan know exactly what I did and didn't do and I don't give a t**s what PEOPLE think, I was there for my friend and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that she would do anything in her power to be there for me if I ever needed her to be.

Jan is one of the most awesome people I know, I love her and I know she loves me. Who gives a SHIT about what PEOPLE say??

What do teachers make?

Watch this...



This video was sent to me by an old school friend of mine who is a teacher. It inspired me to want to teach and so I now stand in front of a group of about 12 mature students every week twice a week who are working hard with the aim of getting into University. It can be a tough job and its not something you do for the money.

These PEOPLE are from all walks of life, these PEOPLE have known failure, these PEOPLE want to make a difference, I believe that some of them will. These PEOPLE inspire me, I have sat where they are sitting and it is a pleasure to be a part of their journey. These PEOPLE are growing and learning in front of my eyes.

Some PEOPLE will tell them they are not up to it, some PEOPLE will question their ability, their motivation and their reasons for taking this huge step which for now is really messing with their lives. Some PEOPLE dont believe that they will ever see them in a cap and gown, some PEOPLE dont want to. Some PEOPLE won't be able to handle the obvious changes that I see taking place almost weekly. Some PEOPLE are just ignorant.

I spoke in class today about blogging and shared my first post with these PEOPLE, I suggested they find something they are passionate about and start their own. As I was writing this post, I got a message on my phone...One of these PEOPLE went home and started his own blog, just like that and I cannot wait to read it.

Today, I made a difference, what did you make?

My friend Warren

Warren is one of my best friends on this planet, we have known each other for 15 years or more. When he meets new PEOPLE, he embraces them and tries to make them laugh, he has a wicked sense of humour. He is quick witted, funny and great to be around. He brightens up my day whenever he is near, I call him the sun in my shine, he calls me his life. We do stupid things, he loves music and jingles and knows every one, we bounce off each other, I video him, we sing together, we laugh together. Here are 2 PEOPLE that light up each others life. I was there when he lost his mum - he wanted me there, and he was there when my life was SHIT, I needed him there.. His life is simple, uncomplicated and full of love without judgement. The PEOPLE that dont show him love back are dismissed, the PEOPLE that do are embraced and friends for life, and richer for it.

Some PEOPLE think he is dumb, some PEOPLE think he is a retard, some PEOPLE are scared of him, some PEOPLE cant understand a word he says and some wouldnt give him the time of day.

Thats because he has Down Syndrome. To me he is a precious friend and a man who will turn 40 this new years eve and I feel priveledged to be a part of that celebration.

Some PEOPLE have not lived until they have had a friend like Warren. Some people are just plain STUPID.

What is it about PEOPLE

OK, so why am I here?

I genuinely love PEOPLE.
I am inspired by PEOPLE.
I enjoy meeting and getting to know new PEOPLE.
Some PEOPLE make me happy to know them, others make me sorry I ever met them.
I am known as someone that goes out of my way to make sure PEOPLE are OK.
I understand PEOPLE.
I know some amazing PEOPLE from all walks of life.
I learn my most valuable lessons from PEOPLE.
I do not understand why some PEOPLE are just complete d**ks sometimes.
I dont care if those people like me or not.

This blog is a place where I will share everything I know and everything I learn about PEOPLE.