Culture Vulture

I LOVE hearing about and learning about different cultures, I think I get this trait from my dad, who is very much a live and let live kinda person and one of the wisest men I know.

When I first started University I was propelled into a previously unknown world. This was a traditional (often referred to as red brick) University, in fact some of the PEOPLE that went there knew they were going there before they even started school! It has a culture of its own to be fair and as a mature student, I was like a bit of an alien.

I am from a working class background, the first in my family to go to University - my brother still thinks that the letters after my name (BSc) mean mad cow! I had worked VERY hard to get there and was one of just 70 that got on to my course out of 700, which was top in the country for my subject area. For once, diversity went in my favour (ageism), I was among some of the brightest young people in the country. The journey there and back was like time travel. I was running a working mens club and spending my evenings with 60 year olds, then spending my days with 19 year olds.

The adjustment to my new life as a mature student was difficult. Not just because I was still of the mindset of 'can I do this?, am I clever enough?', but because to my surprise for the first time in my life I found it really difficult to make friends. Lets face it what does a 30 something mother of 2 who runs a working mens club in the red light district of a town 50 miles away got in common with any of these PEOPLE.

In fact I found it so difficult that between lectures (which was sometimes more than 3 hours) I would go to my car and sleep! It was a lonely time - PEOPLE who know me will find this unbelievable! All around me I could see little cliques developing, but I just didn't fit into any of them, there wasn't a mature student clique.

All that changed when one day I was on the way to an early morning lecture and I met someone who was to introduce me to her little clique. It was her 19th birthday and that meant we had the same birthsign - EUREKA - I finally found someone I had something in common with.

This was the day when I met 3 people who have become very dear friends and without them I really would not have graduated, I owe more to them than they would ever take credit for.

My new freinds were asian. Two were Sikh, one was muslim, as a result I was introduced not only to the University culture but to 2 other cultures that I previously knew NOTHING about. I was ignorant. Can you believe that before that day, the only conversation I had ever had with an asian person was - Have you been busy tonight? (TAXI DRIVER) and Thank you have a nice day (SHOP KEEPER). This was about to change as was my knowledge and insight into cultures that I had never before been exposed to.

Now during breaks in the timetable they would tell me all about their culture and laugh so hard at my reaction to things like the mechanics of an arranged marriage. I was a bit like their new toy, they couldnt believe I was hearing some of these things for the first time. Most of the time I sat with my mouth open, but my heart and mind were open too, that's why these were some of the happiest converstaions I have ever had.

Over the next 3 years I learned how to tell the difference between a Sikhs, Muslims and Hindus. I learned to say one sentence in Punjabi, I learned everything about Sikh weddings and couldn't believe that one day I might actually get a chance to go to one. I learned about the value placed on family, religion and tradition. I learned that as a guest in an asian home you are treated like royalty and that you will be fed within 5 minutes of entering. I learned to love asian food. I learned about how the extended family really works and the role that boys and girls play in family hierarchy. I learned that parents have power! I learned about the importance of education and that hard work pays. I learned that PEOPLE are baffled when they walk into their corner shop and see a 30 something white woman behind the counter.

One post would not do justice to what I learned about PEOPLE from my asian friends and there will be more. There is a photograph in my living room of the three of them, taken on the first ever night we went out together, it reminds me of a very special time. The years have moved on and while I don't see them as often as I would like to our friendship remains solid and very important to us all. The journey I took with them was an awesome one and one that I will never forget.

Some PEOPLE just wouldn't get it. Some PEOPLE need to go meet my friends.